All uneasy feelings aside,i have alot of things that i am thankful for,not in order of anything:
- I am thankful to my parents for bringing up to till i am 18 years old
- I am thankful to my parents for putting up with my selfishness sometimes.
- I am thankful to my dad for working all day long to provide for the family.
- I am thankful to my mom to cook everyday for us,so that her family isn't gonna starve to death.
- Thankful to my friends for ya know being my friend to this wolf.
- I am thankful to God for letting me meet the Girl named Siti Nurdiana she is just the most precious thing to me right now and losing her will fcuking kill me.
- I am thankful to Diana for putting up with me for disturbing and annoying her all the time and she is alright with it.
- I am thankful to God for i am alive and able to live my life.
Added somethings on the list, all Thankfulness aside today has been great played floorball with my classmates. Its been awhile since we played floorball together. The time that i spent with them is precious and wouldn't trade it with anything. They have seen me cry seen me lose control and seen me happy. Basically they know how i am as a person. Right now i have two top agendas that i found out that i need to settle once and for all. I had fought lots and lots of battle and came out on top in most of them. I had fought to regain my Honor as a person. I had fought for the things that i love. And lots more but right now i feel like its the most important battles in my life out of all that i had gone through. 1st battle is a battle that i have to fight alone I a fight with myself. Sounds nuts.? no its not when you are me. 2nd fight is the fight of answers meaning that "Uneasy" feeling of mine. For all i now is that i just wanna know the truth behind my feelings. Things had been really strange around me. People acting strange, attitude is changed and i am guessing that their mind is caught up with a question just like me. I can tell ya something right now i have alot of question some are stupid and some are important. I am doing my best not to lose my mind and lose my way. My patience is running thin because of this i am quick to feel irritated and angry. "Cant hang on but i cant let go" that is how i am feeling. Even my friends told me that i looked preoccupied and bored at school. Cause everywhere that i go that question is always there its like a fucking fly that annoys you. I am about to break i can feel it, when i do not know. Light for me has not been helpful, it keeps flickering in the dark and never provide me with an answer it just never do anything. I am not even sure that if this problem really exist or is it just my imagination ya know. That is why i am confuse i dont say anything to anyone cause its in my nature. I looked around me seeing people smile,Couples hugging and kissing parents happy with their child and that made me feel like i had lost something right inside of my heart. Felt empty and happiness is like a mirage in the desert for me. I do not know if it is real. I dont know what to think what to do how to react or even sure that i am going in the right direction to find the answers. Looks like i got alot of things to settle this time round. With that aside I miss diana ya know its been awhile since i last talked to her. More than 4-days if i remember correctly. God damm it i really miss talking to her..Well this wolf has some thinking to do so see ya around
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